10.30.06: Scientists have discovered that some species of animals display homosexual tendencies. In fact, one breed of chimpanzees enjoys antique- shopping and scrap-booking.
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The DAX Elves look more like the Flying Monkeys from ‘’The Wizard of Oz'’ today - all dressed up to celebrate their favorite fun day - Halloween, tomorrow. Nevertheless, they have turned in a decent batch of new stuff for us to put up here - even though I noticed that a couple of the pages seemed to be stuck together with taffy-apple goo . . .
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DEAN’S RANT: IRS Snips Snipes!
MONEY-MAKING: A Computer Nerd’s Nirvana!
HEALTH BOOSTERS: Coffee - Trick Or Treat?
MEDIA CRITIQUE: Wall To Wall SNL!
SHORT TAKES: Bada Bing - Bada Boom!
A HORRIBLE, SCARY-ENDING: (Scroll To The Very Bottom)
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DEAN’S RANT: IRS Snips Snipes!
That’s a headline you can expect IF what the media is telling us is true - that one-time super-hero Wesley Snipes is in some serious trouble with the ‘’Infernal Revenooers'’ for failing to pay millions in taxes. It reminds me of a much lesser incident that occurred this past week:
Some misguided entrepreneurial type submitted an ad to our DAX HYBRID-POWERED AD-BLAST site (www.DAX-Power-Blast.com) which read, verbatim: ‘’HOW TO LEGALLY AVOID PAYING INCOME TAXES! Info: $5.00. (Seller’s contact data).'’
Wow! Do people NEVER learn? How many people must the feds put in the pokey before they realize that despite ALL of the arguments to the contrary - no matter how many ‘’learned interpretations'’ of the U.S. Constitution that ‘’scholars'’ may spew forth - everybody MUST render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s . . . PERIOD! Otherwise, you go directly to jail and definitely do NOT collect two-hundred dollars!
Now, I really do not like to discourage budding biz folk, and for sure, I hate to turn away revenue for any of our operations - even though, an ad in our aforementioned website is a mere twenty bux per WEEK . . . but I wrote back to the fellow and said, ‘’Sorry, we can NOT accept your ad as it’s written. Maybe, we could if you were to add a line that said, ALSO included is our promise to bring you a cake with a file in it when the IRS sticks your sorry butt in prison!'’
Please do not let this discourage YOU, however: If you have an ad that features a legal product or service, submit it to us and the odds are it WILL appear in the pages of the DAX HYBRID-POWERED AD-BLAST amongst the other 99 that we DO accept. We do have that limit of 100 only - split up to 20 per (five) pages.
I’m thinking of cutting THAT down as I want the thing to be a quick read for all visitors. So, you’d better hurry up and get your ad in - lest you miss out entirely!
-Dean
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MONEY-MAKING: A Computer Nerd’s Nirvana!
Yet another brilliant idea for computer programming experts seeking to get rich! I say ‘’another'’ as there have been several such over the years from this source - although, the most notable was the one suggesting the growing need for a system which could sort out websites, categorize ‘em and make the results available to web-surfers.
That concept is now well-known as a ‘’search engine'’ and it came to be a few months after we published the idea - thanks to pioneer Larry Page and his buddy (whose name escapes me at the moment). Coincidentally, Larry lived nearby to yours truly in East Lansing, Michigan at the time. As you know, the boys ended up calling their service GOOGLE.
If interested further in this unique DAX Money-Maker, go to the left sidebar there, and under CATEGORIES, click on the link for MONEY-MAKING. This article, in its entirety, is the first to appear there!
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HEALTH BOOSTERS: Coffee - Trick Or Treat?
Coffee is a beverage - like red wine - the mere mention of which can start a discussion, if not a flat-out argument. It has its longtime supporters, as in, ‘’I couldn’t possibly start each day without my fix of coffee!'’ plus its detractors, who seem to delight in maligning the bean with comments like, ‘’The stuff will kill you! It causes cancer, at the very least, and I’ve heard that it even raises cholesterol!'’
Regardless, it appears that a fair amount of recent bonafide research proves some significant benefits to be derived from the brew, such as:
Lowering the risk of Parkinson’s disease, diabetes, colon cancer, headaches and even tooth cavities!
A great deal MORE helpful, healthy data can be found in the rest of the article which you can quickly asccess via the HEALTH BOOSTERS category at the left sidebar.
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MEDIA CRITIQUE: Wall To Wall SNL!
Now that the fall ‘’new show'’ seasonal dust has settled a bit, here are our initial observations:
Saturday Night Live stinks more than usual this year! Perhaps, I should start submitting ides for sketches again (my specialty are take-offs on well-known commercials) as the shows we’ve seen so far are so horribly vacuous that it’s impossible to stay awake past the opening. Even that can be overly ponderous and boring.
There’s a decent alternative to the 90 minute wasteland, if you need a weekly SNL ‘’fix,'’ however: NBC has a combo of take-offs - one, called ‘’Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip,'’ plus ‘’30 Rock.'’ The numbers in the titles reveal the running time, so combined, you get the same hour and a half you would otherwise waste on the original SNL.
The first show takes a semi serious backstage look at an SNL type show, whilst the second presentation is a semi-comedic variation on the same theme. I say semi-comedic as it fails to come up to a higher standard that we feel producer and star, Tina Fey is certainly more than capable of. Frankly, she is the most talented female to emerge from SNL since Gilda Radner and hands-down has more going for her than just about all the recent male cast members.
Also noteworthy this year is (Doctor) House on Fox, although it has started to wear thin with the same stupid story line each week where House ALWAYS knows the correct diagnosis for a disease and the cure is ALWAYS radical and the entire staff about him ALWAYS thinks he’s daft only to be proven wrong when the patient ALWAYS miraculously lives, walks, sees, or otherwise defies conventional medical wisdom. Seems like they would tumble to the formula after the 2 - 3 years that they’ve been working together, eh wot?!
‘’Deal Or No Deal'’ has just lost its groove. Was fine for awhile - and Howie Mandel still turns in a decent, albeit repetitive routine, but it’s obvious that a new show, also produced by the same people who do DOND, called ‘’1 versus 100′’ is poised to replace it - soon.
The latter is at least a bit challenging, and involves the audience both at home and in the studio. Whilst the questions are excruciatingly easy, even all-time Jeopardy Champ Ken Jennings failed to answer a question recently, as part of the one hundred ‘’mob.'’
We predict that ‘’1 vs 100′’ will have an initial run similar to Regis’ ‘’Millionaire'’ and then possibly, go into some sort of long running syndication.
SuEllen still enjoys ‘’Cold Case,'’Without A Trace'’ and ‘’Numbers'’ - all on CBS. I can take or leave ‘em all - generally, the latter.
Over at ABC I hear that ‘’Ugly Betty'’ is popular - I could not gut the thing even once! I do still give the Desperate Housewives a whirl every week (Hey! I have a long tradition of that - what with a total of four wives of my own over the years - although none would admit to being either a housewife OR to ever being desperate!)
I’m really disappointed with ‘’Brothers and Sisters.'’ The actors are likeable, especially, Calista Flockhart (who will probably never have a role that gives her a chance to come close to reprising her quirky performances in Ally McBeal) - and Sally Field comes through nicely, as well. But overall, the presentation is tedious and condescending and a real bore.
Again, the absolute best hour of television this year is, as it was last year, ‘’Boston legal.'’ Television writing doesn’t get any better than the scripts they churn out at BL. It is also skillfully produced, edited and the actors are surprisingly entertaining. I never liked Spader or Shatner in ANYTHING until BL, but together, in that particular venue, they are a delightfully entertaining, natural duo! Just hope they don’t decide to ‘’take the act on the road'’ but instead, confine their eccentric performances to the set - period.
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SHORT TAKES: Bada Bing - Bada Boom!
$$$: Psst . . . wanna drink like Tony Soprano? You often see him at the ‘’Bada Bing'’ guzzling Ruffino - a really good Chianti that’ll set you back about 25 bux per bottle. The stuff is delicious - I’m slurping some of it as we speak - a 1997 Riserva Ducale Classic, to be exact. That’s odd . . . all of a sudden I feel like muttering ‘’Fugetaboutit!'’ and I’m fighting a strong urge to rub out somebody . . .
$$$: You’re a fat-head! So am I, actually - we all are: Researchers delight in telling us that the human brain is composed of a full 60% of nothing more exotic or erudite than ordinary FAT!
$$$: If you have relatives who emigrated to the U.S. between the end of the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th, odds are they were processed through famed Ellis Island in New York. If so, you may, with a click of your mouse, be able to find out all sorts of interesting stuff about them including the name of the ship they arrived on, their ages, marital status and so forth.
This, as the result of a joint effort between the U.S. Immigration Service and the Mormon Church which has laboriously scanned tons of records and captured data on a website you can access for free: www.ellisislandrecords.org I went there to check out data on my mother, her father and others who came from England in 1908 - and spent a whole lot of frustrating time until I realized that they had emigrated to Canada before coming to the U.S.! You may be luckier - give it a try!
$$$: BEWARE! Hard to believe but those ‘’Nigerian Money Scams'’ are still very much alive: Where once they were perpetrated via the U.S. Mails, now you are most likely to be hit via a fax or e-mail. The scam remains the same: You are promised an exorbitant amount of ‘’free money'’ (the latest figure is $22,500,000.00!!!) that will be deposited into your bank account.
All you gotta do is furnish your bank transaction numbering data. Naturally, the upshot is with that in hand the perps can drain YOUR account into theirs instead of vicey-versey, as promised. Surprisingly, there are still a number of suckers who fall for this offer - otherwise, ’tis doubtful these dastardly bastardies would still be putting forth the effort and expense to run the scam. This is NOT a case of ‘’if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is,'’ but rather, HOW FRIGGIN’ DUMB CAN ONE BE TO FALL FOR THIS CRAP?!
$$$: Most find that Thai food is fabulously delicious. Some however, experience subsequent constipation. For them, I guess it’s the Thai that binds . . .
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DAX YAX: The Perils Of Drinking
Two buddies, aircraft mechanics at O’Hare, found themselves with nothing to do one afternoon as the terminal was totally fogged in and there were no aircraft to service. Wishing they had something to occupy their time and more to the point, something to DRINK to fill then void, one of ‘em said, ‘’Hey! I’ve heard that jet fuel will give you a real buzz . . . wanna try some?'’
So, they poured themselves a couple glasses of high octane hootch and got totally smashed.
The next morning, one fellow wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. Indeed, he feels GREAT! No bad side effects, no hangover - nothing. Then, the phone rings. His buddy asks, ‘’How do you feel this morning?’
‘’Why, I feel terrific! How about you?!!
‘’I feel great, too. You don’t have a hangover?'’
‘’Nope . . . that jet fuel is the best - no hangover - nothing. We should do this more often'’
‘’Yeah, well there’s just one thing . . . ‘’
‘’What’s that?
‘’Have you farted yet?'’
‘’No . . . ‘’
‘’Well, DON’T - ’cause I did, and now I’m in Denver!'’
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A HORRIBLE SCARY ENDING:
As Halloween creeps up on us all tomorrow, we thought long ‘n hard about the scariest thing we could think of and here ’tis:
President Hillary Rodham Clinton
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