DAXRICH.COM » Blog Archive » Mystery Money Magically Materializes!

Posted 10.08.07

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A DAX ‘SMUCKLE:’

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much to talk about, but the reception was outstanding.

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-THIS WEEK’S LIST OF 6 DAX LIFE-ENHANCERS!-

DEAN’S RANT: No Need To Fret About Planet Earth, Mr. Gore!

MONEY-MAKING: Mysterious Money!

READERS REACT: ‘’DAX Trolling For Dollars'’ Is A Big Hit!

HEALTH BOOSTER: ‘’So, There Were These 9 Gin-Soaked Raisins . . . ‘’

PONDER THIS: Reverse Psychology?

DAX-YAX: A Few Off-The-Wall Chinese Proverbs!

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DEAN’S RANT: No Need To Fret About Planet Earth, Mr. Gore!

Former Veep Al Gore received an Oscar for his controversial documentary, ‘’An Inconvenient Truth.'’ The theory advanced therein - and endorsed by some scientists but not by others - is that we are on the verge of catastrophe due to ‘’global warming.'’

Further, and as with most every ‘’bad thing'’ that befalls us humans - we are told that it’s all our own fault: We are too wasteful, possess a total disregard for our fellow planet-inhabitants, consume too much of our limited and precious resources and so on.

Probably, all that’s true to a certain extent, BUT:

Such a theorem - that we mere mortal human animals even have the ability to destroy an entire planet in the Universe - on our ownsome - reeks of egomaniacal smugness to the ‘nth degree!

During my first 6 1/2 decades in this particular world I have taken note of a number of events that a Chicken-Little type of mentality might naturally believe could ‘’do us all in'’ - but that has not been the consequence. Major wars - involving atomic destruction - of horrendous proportions, to be sure, but of no major threat to those not directly involved.

There have been global epidemics and pandemics, religious fanaticism up the ump-stump, widespread crop failures with severe famines in some regions, disease such as HIV AIDS which for awhile many were convinced would wipe out all human life . . . frightening outbreaks of polio, tuberculosis, malaria, Ebola, E.coli and e-spam enough to choke a herd of horses, and on and on.

But I have also witnessed small - very small - events NOT recorded by the 24/7 cable news which have lead me to believe that no matter WHAT misguided or accidental actions of mere mortal mankind to obviate, obliterate or obfuscate our existence here . . . it just won’t work.

Many years ago I decided to have the parking lot paved at our former office complex in Williamston, Michigan. At the time it was rather messy - just packed with white gravel and subject to adverse weather conditions. Snow removal was especially difficult and there was a network of moles that foraged about in the sub soil causing weak spots where vehicles could drop and get stuck. Weeds would grow everywhere, despite various chemical applications to kill ‘em off.

So, I contracted to have it professionally paved with a few inches of asphalt. They did a nice job - it looked good and even smelled sort of interesting. Cost $3000 - a lot of money at the time - enough to buy a brand new Oldsmobile sedan. The moles and weeds were all gone, too!

After a couple weeks of ‘’curing'’ it was time to figure out where the yellow lines should be painted to delineate parking spaces. My ego dictated a nice big spot for my Rolls right next to the front door - had it marked ‘’Reserved For God.'’ Never had to worry about anyone grabbing my space . . .

As the paint guy and I walked through the lot, I noticed that the neighbor lady was freight-training towards us. She and her husband owned a little convenience store right next door and behind that was their residence. Its backyard was adjacent to my freshly-paved parking lot . . . where all the moles of Williamston had previously maintained their huge community - under where we had paved.

Now, it seems, they had been forced to relocate and had chosen to do so . . . into the neighbor lady’s backyard. Man, was she ticked! Oh well . . . I never really considered any of the moles either friends, relatives or my responsibility so . . .

As we resumed our walk around the perimeter of the parking lot, up near the building - about four feet into the field of the two-week-old blacktop - there appeared - but only about an inch tall - an unmistakable, bright-green cotton-pickin’ . . . WEED! It had somehow found or made for itself just enough of a tiny crack in the pavement to poke through and reach for the sky!

I found that SO remarkable that I ordered the yellow-line paint guy to paint a neat little circle around that %&+#ing enterprising little weed! He thought I was nuts. No . . . by then, I was rather ‘’well-off'’ so, I guess he just thought I was eccentric. When you’re poor and do odd things, you’re crazy. When you’re rich - you’re simply ‘’a bit different from others!'’

More recently, whilst doing my daily ritual of watering the flowers in the built-in deck planters at BLUE HERON POINTE I noticed something odd: About three feet away from one of the planters, growing from a very tight crack in front of the steps was one lonely ‘wave petunia.’

How it got there I don’t know - perhaps, during a storm a tiny seedling got transferred from the planters. Within 5 days there were three more identical little flowers! So, I just added them to my daily watering routine and left ‘em there! Why not? Who the heck am I to destroy a natural spirit like that?!

OUR INDUSTRIOUS SQUIRREL FARMERS!

Each year since our first one together (and we just observed our 17th such last week) I buy a couple pumpkins from a local patch and we try to outdo each other with our respective carvings. As my alter ego is the world-renowned abstract expressionist artist, du Vall, not too surprising, it is SuELLEN who always wins the contest!

Last year, for the first time, neither of us really had any extra time to do that, so we got just one large pumpkin and placed it outside on a bench - uncarved. As the weeks passed, I noticed it was holding up quite well so, rather than trash it after Halloween, I left it alone.

One day in late November I looked out the window and noticed a thin layer of snow on it, plus, a squirrel who was busy gnawing into the thing. It was rather amusing - especially, when the pumpkin fell off the bench onto a dormant flower bed - much to the amazement of Mr. Squirrel! The dead pumpkin reposed there, out of sight, all Winter - and that was that!

Until this past Spring. One day I’m out there watering flowers and noticed a strange new plant. Within a few days it had gown 3 times in size - shades of ‘’Little Shop of Horrors!'’ Only in this case, there was no demand of ‘’Feed me, Seymour!'’ as it was doing very well all on its own. I asked SuEllen - our resident farm expert - what ’twas. She pronounced it a pumpkin plant!

Hmmmm . . . I did not plant that and S.E. surely did not plant it, either. Must have been the Squirrel that was munching around the previous autumn.

Before long, we noticed a lowly pumpkin growing amongst all those yards of vineage and although, it got to only about 5 inches in diameter, it was a full-fledged orange-as-could-be pumpkin which I placed on the bench in about the same spot as its ancestor from last season.

Back to my original thought: Perhaps, some day an arrogant despot will, in fact, start a nuclear war. A few billions of us will be obliterated, no doubt. Possibly, all or most all humans, though unlikely. No matter. In due course - hundreds of thousands or millions of years - don’t know exactly WHEN - the cockroaches will crawl out from their hidey holes, a couple alligators will emerge from the murky swamp and a bird here and there will take flight. THEY have all survived previous ‘’world destructions'’ before and will do so again. No prob, Bob!

There will also be a little green weed or two poking up through the ashes - maybe a pumpkin or tomato plant, too. In time, something resembling humans as we know ‘em now may make the scene again, as well. Now, if you’re a ‘’global-warming = a death-knell'’ proponent, THAT is an ‘’inconvenient truth,'’ eh wot?!

P. S. That little pumpkin was too small to carve as a Jack o’ Lantern so, one day I decided to retrieve it and cook the innards - pumpkin is like any squash and is rather tasty. But when I started out the door to get it, Mr, Squirrel had already beaten me to it and was nibbling away at one side of the thing.

Oh well, I guess ’twas HIS pumpkin, after all . . . although . . . I did water the dang thing every day for a couple months. Maybe next year, he’ll grow a larger crop so we can all have one to ourselves.

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TWO RECENT EVENTS OF NOTE:

Each year around this time I will get letters asking if I have managed to STILL refrain from smoking. Yes, indeedy! September 25 marked 15 full years since I gave up the pipe and cigars once and for all. Have never once caved in and had so much as a single puff of anything since. (WANTED to at times - but did not!)

That IS remarkable when you consider that I started actively smoking (behind the barn) at age four and by seven, a friend and I used to smoke ciggies every day in one of the empty boxcars near the train depot in Sturgis. I switched to pipes and cigars at age 14 and then, until that fateful September day in 1992, I quit totally - at age 52.

It was NOT before many previous attempts failed. How I did it - and how my method has since helped countless others worldwide during this past decade and a half is recounted in our popular report ‘’How To Quit Smoking. Period!'’ which can be acquired via this link:

http://www.daxrich.daxfax.com/store/index.php?productID=119

AND THIS . . .

Last week, on October 4th, SuEllen and I observed the 17th year since we first met. Two days before that, on the 2nd, we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. Had assumed we would do so in ‘’our usual way'’ by having a big expensive dinner at FLYTRAPS in Elkhart. It is an old bar that was once a ‘Speak-Easy’ during the Depression, but in the years since has evolved into a chic eatery with some nice abstract expressionist paintings on the walls (none of which were executed by my alter ego, du Vall, by the way! See: http://www.4-ArtSake.com)

The day before I had phoned to make reservations, got a recording several times requesting that I leave my phone number so they could call me back. Huh? I do NOT sit around waiting for a restaurant to call ME to make reservations. So, I left the pertinent data on their answering machine.

When we arrived the next evening at the appointed time - expecting the usual scrumptious dinner - they were closed! This was a Tuesday but a note on the door showed only Thursday through Saturday hours, I believe. Crap!

I’ve since been told that the joint is under new mis-management . . .

So, we went down the street to another old bar called CASEY’S - a place S.E. had been trying to get me to for years. It was too crummy-looking for my tastes but in this case, I relented. Great food! - and prices as high as FLYTRAPS. In fact, there are several hundred greenbacks quite high - pinned to the ceiling throughout the joint. The entire staff is ancient, but with age comes wisdom (that’s MY story, anyway!) and our waitress was especially doting.

The Manhattans were so generous that, even though she spilled a great deal of each one as she delivered ‘em to our table, they were still filled to the brim! The lady actually stayed around long enough to make certain the things had been made precisely as I had instructed.

At the completion of the meal SuEllen strongly urged me to give the lady a tip big enough to pay her next month’s electric bill, but the experience was well worth it. And man oh man, so was the rest of the evening that ensued when we returned to BLUE HERON POINTE! After all, that was ‘’Boston Legal'’ night on the teevee . . . HA!

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MONEY-MAKING: Mysterious Money!

You may or may not know it, but for many years there has been a nice little business going on - sort of ‘underground’ - of which you may now decide to become a part. It’s easy, it can be fun, it can vent some of your frustrations that you suffer as an everyday consumer like everyone else - and you could also end up with a highly profitable business - worked alone or with several employees, if you prefer.

What is it - what is it? Don’t keep us in suspenders!

It is, the mystery shopper service. Stores of all kinds have, for years, paid good money to have unbiased, ordinary-appearing men and women come into their stores, shops, restaurants, hotels, motels, banks, airport terminals, etc., to act like regular shoppers and then report back on their experiences.

Traditionally, one of the main purposes of this was to ferret out errant personnel - even crooks who were siphoning off the till.

Today, competition is much more keen, and the astute business person - especially those in charge of chain operations - is more apt to hire a professional service that will file regular, concise reports as to the EXPERIENCE of shopping in a particular retail outlet which may encompass a findings on the decor, cleanliness, attitude of personnel, prices, quality of merchandise, etc., etc.

In short, just about everything one encounters when driving up to a store, parking, approaching the building, wending one’s way through the aisles, and so forth.

Stop right here and think: The last time you went to, say, your local XYZ discount store, what was your experience? Good? Bad? Great? Just so-so? How were you treated? Did the store have the merchandise that they advertised? Was the price too high or just right? Restrooms clean? Aisles cluttered? Did you have to wait a long time to get checked out? What did the place SMELL like? As you recall the experience, what was it like? Could you sit down and write out a ‘report’ on that experience? If so, would you like to receive any where from $50.00 to $100.00 for your effort?

How about doing that sort of thing several times each week? Several times each DAY? How about hiring others (pay them maybe 35% to 50% of what you charge your clients) to do the same thing. How many people could you find to do that sort of pleasant, interesting work?

Pretty soon, you could have quite an organization, couldn’t you . . . Well, that’s the premise of this DAX MONEY-MAKER®. Here is the sort of report that your clients will expect from you:

CONFIDENTIAL REPORT FOR EXXOFF OIL COMPANY

Station: #1505 Date: 10/06/07 Time: 10:35 A.M. Auditor: Denise Rappaport

When I drove up to the station, the first thing I noticed was the huge pothole in the driveway. I had to slow down to barely a crawl to keep from tearing the bottom out of my car. It was kind of like riding a carnival ride. The grassy areas right out front were kind of shabby looking. The grass itself was high, and there was litter on the ground. The parking area under the canopies where the pumps are was littered and stained. It gave the impression of not being well maintained.

Two of the four pump islands were occupied and I pulled up to the third. The islands were dirty and oily. There were several oily rags on the island and two empty plastic oil bottles. There was a lot of oil soak on the pavement, much of it actually slippery from oil.

I selected the grade of gas I wanted and picked up the nozzle. It was dirty, and I got a dark brown stain on my hand from holding it. I turned the pump on, and the digital display immediately cycled to zero. I began pumping but couldn’t get the pump to work very fast. I looked closer at the hose and saw that it had a bad kink in it about in the middle. It looked as if a car had run over it while it was twisted. The pump finally dispensed the amount of gas I wanted, and I replaced the nozzle and went inside to pay.

The doors and windows in the store part of the station were dirty. The door had a broken pane of glass in it. The floor was wet and dirty.

When I got to the counter, I was waited on by Pearl. Pearl had long, beautifully manicured finger nails that she was working on when I walked in. She pushed a wad of gum she was chewing over to the side of her mouth and stated the amount I owed. I handed her my money, and she made change which she handed back to me with no eye contact, smile or comment. She went right back to her nails and her gum.

I went over to the cooler doors and began looking for something to drink. The doors were quite dirty and one of them didn’t fit properly. It looked like the rubber seal around the door had been partially torn, and part of it was hanging out so as to keep the door from closing completely.

I selected a drink and took it to the counter. Pearl looked up and then back down and rang up the drink. Then she pushed her gum to the side of her mouth and stated the amount I owed. I handed her my money and she made change which she handed back to me with no comment as she went on to the next nail.

I asked Pearl if they had a rest room and she said, without looking up, ‘’Around the back.'’ I asked if I needed a key and she said, ‘’No.'’

I went around to the back and into the rest room. The doorknob was off the door and I had to stick my finger in the hole to get the door open. It only opened about half way before being blocked by a piece of metal trim that was torn off the door frame and bent so as to impede the full opening of the door.

Inside, the room was dark and damp. The stench was overpowering. I flipped the light switch and a very low wattage bulb barely illuminated the dirty room. The floor and fixtures were all very dirty. It looked like someone had cleaned an old automobile engine in the room. The water was running in the sink and would not shut off. The toilet was dirty and would not flush. There was no hand soap or towels available. There was no tissue.

As I walked back across the drive to get to my car, I was stopped about half way there by a young man who wore dirty jeans, shirt and tennis shoes. He said, ‘’Hey lady, I need some money!'’ He was rather intimidating and I gave him a dollar just to keep him happy. I then went to my car and was glad to be leaving the premises. I would not return there as a customer. It’s doubtful that anyone else would after such an experience.

For a number of years there have been a bunch of flakes pushing various expensive courses on the subject so, I would suggest proceeding with caution! GOOGLE the topic and also visit this site where the basic data is free:

http://www.mystery-shopper.idealady.com/

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READERS REACT: ‘’DAX Trolling For Dollars'’ Is A Big Hit!

Dear Dean:

After your post last week I wasted no time getting my PIN data to you and was pleasantly surprised to get back almost instantly the URL I needed to access the private PDF download that explained in great detail just how the program works.

I was SO excited I got my wife and two teen-age children involved and we worked diligently for several hours and before you know, as you suggested, we now have a lifetime annuity established - which will grow monthly and the best thing, as you said, was that none of any of this has cost us a single penny! Unbelievable!

Thanks again for all your great ideas and your willingness to share all these things with others at no cost. That is really rare these days. Heck, I guess it was always rare even in the olden days! I don’t see how or why you give all this wonderful information and programs away to strangers like that.

But I’m sure glad that you do!

Warren G. Klause and family

Dear Warren,

It was a long time in coming to me - although it has now been a VERY long time since I learned this irrefutable truism: You can only succeed in this life if you are first, honestly willing and eager to help others succeed and then - actually do something to make that happen.

I really do not think that anybody can become successful or maybe, what I really mean is - STAY successful - unless, they are committed to think about others and share - whatever.

NO, that does not mean you should be a putz and allow people to run all over you nor frankly, does it mean that every time someone hits you up for something for nothing that you bend. Indeed, the opposite is true: I believe that true, sustainable charity starts with the person who is giving - not the one receiving.

Anyway, glad to see you converted from a simple DAXER to a genuine DAX-DOER so quickly - AND got the family involved. I can tell you that already your collective efforts are starting to pay off, and just 6 days after you initiated them . . . fantastic!

-Dean

If YOU missed out on last week’s ‘’DAX Trolling For Dollars'’ deal, retrieve last week’s post via ‘’Previous Entries'’ (at bottom of this post) and check it out. HOWEVER: The special email URL that was provided in that article HAS been terminated so you’ll need to email me at the regular one of: Dean@DAXRICH.com

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HEALTH BOOSTER: ‘’So, There Were These 9 Gin-Soaked Raisins . . . ‘’

I hope that conjurs up the same silly cartoon image in your mind as it does in mine - very amusing!

Several weeks back I happened to mention in passing an ‘’old wive’s remedy'’ for easing the pain of arthritis, namely, placing a batch of golden raisins in a bowl and then covering with gin. The bowl is covered and allowed to rest for 7 days during which, the raisins are turned daily with a spoon to ensure that all are thoroughly snockered.

After the week has passed - and I must confess that I was expecting the instructions to say something about waving a magic wand and/or at the least, adding a few other ingredients such as the ever-popular ‘’eye of newt'’ (I wonder how Gingrich feels about that old line, anyway . . . ) - but nope - that’s it: You just start eating nine - exactly nine - not 8 or 10 - every day, preferably at breakfast time.

Supposedly, this will alleviate the pain of arthritis - but for some, the process may take anywhere from a week to several weeks.

I said in our last visit to this subject that I had never tried it - sounded just too dumb to me. Well, of course, since then I HAVE tried it - why not? Besides, we received a heck of a lot of emails from DAXERS asking for more info, as well as from a number who claimed that the drunken raisins have worked well for them personally or for someone they know.

HERE ARE MY OWN FINDINGS:

I dutifully consumed the 9 raisins each morning for 11 days - not exactly pleasant, as I have my breakfast around 4:00 A.M. - not a time when I want to START consuming booze - maybe, if on some wild vacation somewhere (Vegas?!) it may be a time of day when I would be QUITTING . . .

Anyway, nothing - up to that point. On the 12th day - and here’s where my particular tale begins to get a bit weird - it happened that I was REALLY in a mood for a DAX Perfect Martini. Now, I am ALWAYS in a mood for a DAX Perfect Martini but had not had a single drop of that most delightful brew since June, as I’ve been testing out several new approaches to dieting (have now lost 50 pounds, by the way!) and alcohol unfortunately, does not appear to be on any of the agendas.

Well, I had my first two DAX Perfect Martinis - and they tasted soooooo good I had two more. Then, promptly fell asleep for a full two hours - a real rarity for me. I’ve conquered many things in this life but so far insomnia has totally eluded me - no matter what except for the four - count ‘em - FOUR DAX Perfect Martinis. ('’If the vodka don’t kill ya the olives will!'’)

That was in the afternoon and upon arising, I went back to writing and that was it. That evening around 9:00 I dozed off again, but awoke when SuEllen left the Great Room to go to bed: She had been sleeping on the couch after dinner as we watched some hour-long program I had taped earlier in the week.

I said ‘’Goodnight'’ (which is a wasted effort as she sleep-walks and has no idea anyone is talking to her) and then I sat bolt upright in my La-Z-Boy as I noticed something VERY strange: I had NO hip pain at all in either hip (I personally have two of ‘em - one on each side - I strive for symmetry in all endeavors!)

I literally thought I was dreaming but no . . . there truly was no pain. This ecstatic state of non pain lasted for 5 hours - the absolute longest stretch of significant relief I had experienced in about 9 years. Here’s some further data that confuses ME and makes no sense:

Earlier in the day, I had (finally) gotten out my trusty tree trimmer which I also told you about a few months back and decided I’d better trim some tress before winter sets in. So, I had been outside wielding THAT thing over my head for several hours in the morning - something that normally would put me ‘’out of commission'’ for several days. But I enjoy physical exercise and especially, when done outside in the fresh, autumn lake air.

So, ‘’by all rights,'’ I should have been incapacitated by late afternoon, yet here I was at midnight - still in no pain at all! Now, was it from the 9 shriveled-up, drunken grapes, from the four DAX Perfect Martinis - the OLIVES, perhaps - the early morning hard exercise or what? According to one piece of data I read, alcohol has been known to be a pain-reliever for centuries - and we have all heard the old saw, ‘’He’s surely feeling no pain'’ to denote a drunk.

From my own experience however, I can not recall ever before noticing any relief from physical pain when imbibing although, I certainly recall some ex-wife-relief resulting from a substantial toot or two . . .

I asked S.E. what she thought, as she ‘’stands back'’ from such things and looks at them a bit more logically (easier to do when YOU are not in severe pain, eh wot?!) She says that perhaps, the raisins dealie could be effective even though the medical community continues to poo-poo it just as I have all along. (First heard of the treatment 15 - maybe, 20 years ago.)

Regardless, GOOGLE shows 55,000 websites covering the controversy and you’ll find anecdotal ‘’evidence'’ up the ump-stump on some sites. People who swear by it - a few who swear at it. At the moment - I’m neutral about the 9 raisins - but 100% positive about the DAX Perfect Martinis (which, as you will recall, as I’ve given you my secret recipe before - requires SEVEN green olives!)

If you have further interest in the 9 inebriated fruits (no, that’s NOT a gay bash!) try this website for starters:

http://www.peoplespharmacy.com/archives/home_remedies/

gin_soaked_raisins_for_arthritis.php

(Note: You will need to copy and paste the rest of the URL that is not highlighted, as the dang thing is too long to incorporate into this post without totally screwing up the entire format! A little ‘’WordPress Glitch,'’ eh wot?!)

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PONDER THIS: Reverse Psychology?

I was driving through a small town recently and noticed a number of signs posted above restaurants and bars which read: ‘’Bikers Welcome.'’ I asked about it and learned there was what in these parts is called a ‘’Toy Run'’ which annually is staged to raise money to purchase toys for the indigent.

As an aside, I was also informed that following the formal ‘’run'’ (of the motorcyclists) participants gather in a large field somewhere for some booze and browsing, the women get topless and their breasts are painted with all sorts of interesting things and . . . well . . . as I have NOT attended one of these fests, that’s about all I can tell you!

Anyway, I got to thinking that IF those restaurants or bars really are sincere about getting those hoards of bikers to stop in and spend some $$$, I can almost guarantee that if they were to reword - or actually, just ADD a word to their signs - they could greatly increase their customer base. Just word the signs thusly, ‘’Bikers NOT Welcome!'’

They’d get swarms of ‘em coming in, I betcha!

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DAX-YAX: A Few Off-The-Wall Chinese Proverbs!

Dean sz: If you find any of the following offensive, you really should see your doctor and have that corn cob removed . . .

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War not determine who is right. War determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in dog house soon find husband in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.