! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! !
BEFORE YOU DIG INTO ALL OF THE FOLLOWING GREAT STUFF, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ‘’AN EARTH-SHAKING ANNOUNCEMENT’’ HAS JUST BEEN MADE OVER AT:
http://www.daxrich.com/deans-bloggitty-blog-blog/
! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! !
AS PROMISED . . .
‘’D-DAY’’ IS HERE!
‘’D’’ = A New DAY . . .
‘’D’’ = A New DECADE . . .
‘’D’’ = A Unique DAX-DELIGHT . . .
. . . That Is Truly . . .
FUN-TA$-TI-CAL!
Full Mind-Blowing, Wallet-Fattening, Eye-Popping ‘’D’’-Tails at:
It May Well Be A Panacea For YOUR Perilous Times!
! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! ! $ $ $ $ ! ! ! !
DID YOU KNOW?
’The Elderly Dax’ Can Now Be Seen Performing More Or Less ‘Live’ On:
http://www.YouTube.com/theelderlydax1
Plus:
http://www.Facebook.com/theelderlydax
Oh . . . ALSO AT:
http://www.MySpace.com/theelderlydax
If You Wanna Email ‘im Directly:
#######
And Be SURE To Stop By The ‘’Blog To End All Blogs!’’
http://www.DaxRich.com/deans-bloggitty-blog-blog/
There yuwill find an article that fullydetilas my recent “BIG Event” (thne acute stroke & th e aftremath) ’tis very interesting, i:m told - chcekit out!
#######
BUT FOR NOW:
Let’s Take A Stroll Together Through The Murky Mirth Of The
DAX FUNNY FARM!
‘’Where little laffs are lovingly planted, thoroughly and regularly irrigated (with martinis), nurtured, cultivated & harvested by strong & lusty farmhands & THEN, they are rushed to humor-starved folks the world-over Monday through Friday. NO fresh laffs offered on weekends, as no one needs the sustenance - what with non-stop sports activities, parties, sex ‘n’ such . . . ‘’
#######
This site is wholly sponsored by The Elderly Dax, who sz:
‘’He {or SHE) Who Laughs . . . LASTS!'’
#######
Hey! Wanna tweet-tweet with me a tad?
http://www.Twitter.com/theelderlydax
#######
01.21.10
I confess that I have yet to fully regain my physical energy which, believe it or not, is necessary to properly write, develop and install these 3 daily jokes, so it may be awhile longer before we get back to a regular schefdule her at theOl’Dax Funny Farm. However, as I’ve been convalescing a couple things havecome eto mind and here’s one ‘of em;
The Elderly Dax Sz;
There a silly Comcast commercial on the teevee where a young woman enthusiastically extolls the virtues of the many and varied thing she’s found on the internet and she exclaims, ‘’There’s a woman who went to Paris, met and fell in love with th Eifel tower and married it. Can you imagine that?'’
Well yes, I can - and I gotta believe that woman must have had a helluva wedding night! As for her new husband, E.T. - he should consider dating something more his speed - like the Grand Canyon, as he now risks killing his new wife with WAY too much kindness!
*******
01.04.10
Legal Compassion:
A wealthy lawyer, riding in the back of his limousine noticed two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and got out.
'’Why are you eating grass?'’ he asked one man.
'’We don’t have any money for food,'’ the poor man replied.
'’Well then, come along with me, and I will see that you eat well.'’
'’But sir, I have a wife and two children!'’
‘’Bring them along! And you, come with us, too!'’ the lawyer said, turning to the other man.
'’But sir, I have a wife and six children!'’ the second man exclaimed.
‘’Bring them, as well!'’ shouted the generous lawyer.
They all climbed into the car and once underway one of the poor fellows said, ‘’Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking us all with you to feed.'’ The lawyer replied,
'’No problem - there’s plenty for all: The grass at my home is at least two feet tall!'’
#######
The Elderly Dax Sz:
Just heard about a dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa . . .
So sad, and THEN, there’s the cock-eyed optimist who drowned in a bathtub half-filled with water . . .
#######
A beautiful young woman is chatting with a friend and says, ‘’I just don’t know what to do! My boyfriend loves sex with me so much he won’t leave me alone! At least twice a day - he wants sex - sometimes, on the weekend we never even get out of bed once or do anything else! What can I do to slow him down a little?’
Without missing a beat, her friend says, ‘’Marry him.'’
#######
01.01.10
If A Major Resolution For The New Year Involves Your Becoming More of a Penny-Pincher - This Is Definitely For YOU!
ODE TO THE MARVELOUS DOLLAR STORE
I may be down to a lowly buck,
But even then, I’m still in luck:
For never far away’s a store,
Where a bit of cash will buy me more:
More than Wally or Kay will give me,
Even though they say ‘’Some’s FREE!’’
Nope. I like the cheap thrills better,
The pens ‘n paper to send a letter . . .
The smell-good spray and a guide to pray,
Brand new sox - and look: A big red box!
The pills to fix my pain,
A book to exercise my brain!
A new tool or two I’ll never use.
Another book that I may peruse . . .
Always something for a measly dollar,
That often makes me want to holler:
Hey! Grab a cart, a friend or spouse,
You’ll even find stuff to dispatch a mouse,
Plus something to watch, eat or drink,
And always things to make you think:
Like, how can they make, ship and sell,
This stuff so cheap - that I like so well:
And still make a profit?
To answer that, we asked a prophet:
‘’They lose money on every sale -
But they make it up on volume!’’
#######
Lots of brand new stuff around Dax-Land for this brand New Year - including a fresh Bloggitty-Blog-Blog for your perusual:
http://www.DaxRich.com/deans-bloggitty-blog-blog/
*******
MANY MORE LAFFS FROM THE ‘DAX FUNNY FARM’ AWAIT!
We archive ALL of the Dax-Yax that originally appeared on THESE pages - making it easy for you to take your time perusing that big batch (careful . . . that word is spelled with an ‘’a'’ NOT an ‘’i'’!) Here’s the link to START your satirical search:
http://DaxRich.com/dax-yax-of-yore-batch-one/
Once there, you’ll find links to DOZENS MORE Dax-Yax that we’ve archived for you!
#######
Hey! Have you ever seen this old pic from yesteryear?!
The fuzzy old, apocryphal picture shows ‘’The Elderly Dax'’ in the background providing a few laughs for the famous ‘’Rat Pack'’ - circa 1961 at Carnegie Hall - good times, eh wot?!
‘’Ain’t We Got Fun?'’
! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
If you have yet to laugh your OWN head off at the DVD, ‘’Were You Born So?'’ - as performed by ‘The Elderly Dax’ - uh . . . that would be ME(!) . . . then, it’s high time that you got yourself a copy of the thing, which looks like this:
And . . . you can get it here - at a SPECIAL LOW PRICE!
Come back HERE tomorrow for a freshly-harvested batch of DAX-YAX from the ‘’DAX FUNNY FARM!'’
-The Elderly Dax (In a saner moment{!} a/k/a Dean F. V. Du Vall, Sr.)
-30-
Bookmark to:
